Not long ago

(How much is needed to be considered long ago?)

I've heard truths 

& 

Lies

And whatever was supposed to be pointed at me

Words, fingers

Love and sadness

Did I knew what I was doing?

Not a single time

Passion driven

Excruciating pain every single time

It all never was enough to prepare me

This outcome

Could it be better?

Worse for sure

But

Why on top of my dreams I still find time to shed a tear

Tear my muscles 

Live with the pain of doubt

Almost psychotic

Unreal

And continuous

It never fades

Unbreakable bound

And solely made of love

There's no joy

No single moment of laugh and smile is enough

The uncertainty of what's supposed to come with time.

 Unpredictable

Once everybody told me 

There's only one way to understand

And to forgive

And is turning their sins into your own

Now its the time

I can't forget the pain, the fingers pointed at me

But would you believe me

If I say that it's just because we're humans

And as humans we must live and die

The best

The best we could do

Is to learn 

And learn that every single smile of joy comes from uncertainty created by sins

Sins and pain