Oh so much disgrace

it's so freaking hard to make you understand

truth be told I guess you'll never understand

I'm so ashamed 

Standing like a teenager, wishing that nothing ever happens

But I'm just another Joe

I won't change.

Every dream inside feels like a kid's one

I'm just too tired

Y'know, last week I wanted to die so badly

To be honest I still want 

But even this feels like another naïve dream.

Why everything seems so distant and shiny?
I don't even remember when was the last time I could look into sunlight without

my eyes hurt.

I'm just tossing away my time.

I don't create anything, I run from responsabilities

Inside home there's a box full of devices

All of them I can fix

But there's no more pleasure on it.

Inside home there's all my childhood dreams

And all I can do is continue loving them

But they bring no pleasure.

Pleasure is like a distant dream, one which I only get close behind a glass.

No real emotions

Am I lost?